Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Monster Monday: Father Time and the Grim Reaper

While the approaching of January 1st is a time for reflecting and making resolutions, it is also a reminder of our own mortality. We’ve survived another year – but when will our time run out?

Father Time may know. Usually depicted as an elderly, bearded and robed man, carrying a scythe and an hourglass, Father Time has various roles - from a scribe of sorts, chronicling the major events throughout the year, to an overseer of the changing seasons. He must pass along his duties to the New Year Baby – who in turn ages rapidly throughout the year of his rein and meets the next as an old man. Best not to aggravate Father Time as he has the power to cut your time short.

A power not unlike his kissing cousin – or perhaps his son – the Grim Reaper, aka Death. Heck, they even sorta dress the same. Scythe, hourglass, hooded robe. The poisoned apple really doesn’t fall far from the hanging tree. The Grim Reaper is a figure that has featured in stories from people across the globe and, of course, across time. Some cultures suggest the Reaper is female and darkly angelic, while others perceive Death as a terrifying male skeleton.

Like the Grim Reaper, Father Time reminds us that we can’t escape our fate. We will all meet Death in due Time.

Survival Tip: Unfortunately meeting the ominous duo of Father Time and the Grim Reaper is inevitable for us all, unless you decide to cheat Death by becoming what we hunt…a monster such as the vampire, ghoul, etc. Beware, we will get you before you GET us!

Monday, December 19, 2011

Monster Monday: Krampus

If you've found yourself on Santas' naughty list this Christmas,you're gonna want to batten down the hatches - you may be in for a bumpy ride.

According to some Greek mythology, Santa Claus doesn't travelwith elves, but with Krampus, a creepy St. Nick who rides shotgun and doles outpunishment to bad children. And when the traveling duo stumble upon aparticularly naughty child, Krampus stuffs the kid in its sack and carries thefrightened rug rat to its lair - presumably for Christmas dinner.


Though Krampus appears in many variations, most share somecommon spine-chilling physical characteristics - long brown or black hair,cloven hooves, the horns of a goat, and a long pointed tongue even Gene Simmonswould envy.

Not quite the Jolly Old Fellow you might be expecting to slidedown your chimney this year.

Inthe words of Santa himself, you'd better watch out.

Survival Tip: It's a little too late to atone for your sins this year. Our best advice? Dampen the chimney and duck for cover. And maybe add "being nice" to this year's list of resolutions.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

You Better Watch Out: 13 Christmas Horror Films to DIE for

Nothing makes a heart seize with terror more than the Christmas holiday season. Family dramas enacted around the dinner table, crowded malls filled with the desperate and the ruthless, and the relentless pep of carols wherever one wanders. Thankfully Hollywood has a little tradition called the Christmas Horror Film to provide some much needed perspective. You think your Creepmas is stressful, well, it could always be worse.

Here's a list of 13 Christmas Horror flicks we think will help you survive the holidays. Have yourselves a scary little Christmas:

Jack Frost (1977): "A serial killer dies, comes back as a snowman, and wreacks havoc."

Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984): "After his parents are murdered, a young tormented teenager goes on a murderous rampage dressed as Santa, due to his stay at an orphanage where he was abused by the Mother Superior."

Gremlins (1984): "A boy inadvertantly breaks 3 important rules concerning his new pet and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town."

Sweeny Todd: The Demon Barber (2007): The infamous story of Benjamin Barker, a.k.a Sweeney Todd, who sets up a barber shop down in London which is the basis for a sinister partnership with his fellow tenant, Mrs. Lovett. Based on the hit Broadway musical." Released December 2007, this is a classic example of horror during the holidays.

Child's Play (1988): "Young Andy Barclay gets the doll he wanted. However, he did not know it was alive!"

Elves (1989): "A young woman discovers that she is the focus of an evil nazi experiment involving selective breeding and summoned elves, an attempt to create a race of supermen."

Saint (2010): "A horror film that depicts St. Nicholas as a murderous bishop who kidnaps and murders children when there is a full moon on December 5."

Black Christmas (1974): "A sorority house is terrorized by a stranger who makes frightening phone calls and then murders the sorority sisters during Christmas break."

Silent Night, Zombie Night (2009):"A week before Christmas a viral outbreak turns the citizens of Los Angeles into the walking dead."

The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993): "Jack Skellington, king of Halloweentown, discovers Christmas Town, but doesn't quite understand the concept."

Dead End (2003): "Christmas Eve. On his way to his in-laws with his family, Frank Harrington decides to try a shortcut, for the first time in 20 years. It turns out to be the biggest mistake of his life."

Christmas Evil (1980): "A psycho in a Santa suit gets to decide who's been naughty and who's been nice."

Scrooged: (1988) "A cynically selfish TV executive gets haunted by three spirits bearing lessons on Christmas Eve."

All summaries quoted from

Survival Tip: Make sure you leave the tree lights on while you watch these films, no one will know it's because you're scared of the dark. You could also avoid the mall for one item on your Christmas list. Check out these amazing gothic Chrismas cards available from Ginger Dead on Etsy.

Monday, December 5, 2011

Monster Monday: Elves

Cheery elves with pointy ears and long noses may very wellbe frantically busy in the North Pole polishing off the last of the toys tocomplete Santa’s extensive Christmas wish list.

But deep in the underground caves, there lives a darkerelven species, known for their aggression, deceit and stealth – and believe us,these beasties look nothing like Snap,Crackle and Pop.

Dark elves are ugly, with long-bulbous noses, and dirty-brownskin. Said to have come into existence as maggots produced by the decayingflesh of the Norse giant Ymir, they were then endowed by the gods with a humanform and great skill as an artificer.

They work with metals and wood, and boast Thor’s hammer as theirgreatest achievement. Ironic, as the hammer can produce natural weather changes– and excessive heat or rain have proven to be an elven weakness.

As with most monsters, pop culture has created both good andevil depictions – the good often used to brand product such as Keebler cookies(believed to be baked by happy elves in a hollow tree), or Dobby the house elf of J.K. Rowling’s,Harry Potter series. The dark species are popular in video games and fictionwhere elves can be wise, beautiful, and deadly, particularly in the work ofJ.R.R. Tolkien whose elven characters inspired an entire language still used byLord of the Rings fans today.

While Christmas elves are still associated with good cheer, thetide may be shifting. Some parents have long-used the “Elf on a Shelf” methodof ensuring their children stay off Santa’s naughty list – wooden or stuffedelves are strategically placed around the house to “keep an eye on little boysand girls.” * shudder *

How creepy is that?

Survival Tip: Elvenweakness depends upon legend and may include excessive heat, rain, nettles orblossoms of some plants and trees.