Monday, September 26, 2011

Monster Monday: Sasquatch

Sasquatch are ape-like, hairy humanoids often thought of as wild men and may also be referred to as Bigfoot. Some tales suggest the Sasquatch are fearful of man and seek only to remain hidden and live out their lives peacefully, while others tell of larger-than-life monsters who carry off victims to suffer unknown horrors.

Next to UFOs, Sasquatch sightings or footprint impressions are one of the most commonly reported unexplained encounters. They are also the subjects of numerous hoaxes, with the truth discovered via video and photo analysis, fossil comparisons, or the debunking of anthropologists and zoologists. However, the Sasquatch remains a scientific possibility. So if you’re traipsing through the foothills or hiking in the mountains – BE VIGILANT! You may want to practice your observation skills by conducting this Selective Attention Test:

Survival Tip: Yelling, act your age, not your shoe size, may not be the best way to reprimand a Sasquatch who has wandered into your camp. Try RUNNING AWAY instead. Once you’re too far away to record any solid details, do take a few blurry pictures or indistinct video footage.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Monster Monday: Medusa

Sticksand stones may break your bones, butMedusa’s stare will smite you.
Or so the legend goes.
Overthe years, Medusa’s lore has twisted and turned as much as her slithering,serpentine locks of hair. But one thing remains consistent – she’s got looks thatkill.
Andat the heart of it all? Jealousy. In Greek mythology, Medusa was the onlymortal sister of the Gorgon family, a chthonic monster, as in a beast from the underworld, and thedaughter of Phorcys and Ceto. Some believe she was transformed into a truemonster by the Goddess Athena as punishment for sleeping with Poseidon.
Butearly Greek writers simply portray her as a monster born of a monstrous family, kind of the equivalent of a poor little rich girl -except for all the killing. Some descriptionsdepict Medusa as a winged woman with a broad round head, serpentine hair, largestaring eyes, wide mouth, lolling tongue, flared nostrils and sometimes a shortcoarse beard.
However,another myth suggests that Medusa’s powerlay not in her monstrosity, but rather in her beauty – a beauty that paralyzedall who dared to look into her eyes.
I don’t know about you, but I know which beastie I’d rather meetin a dark alley.
SurvivalTip: No head, noundead…but good freaking luck. Medusa can stop anything in her tracks – and hergaze will turn you into stone, even if you come across her by accident. Onemyth suggests Medusa defeated herself by looking into a mirror and turningherself to stone. Carrying a compact in your backpack or purse might not be abad idea.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Monster Monday: Screamers

When terror builds, sometimes all you can do is scream. Humans may scream in rage, despair, fear, pain or even in moments of joy. Ironically monsters also utilize their voices, pleasant or otherwise, in a variety of ways to attract, warn, stun or even kill. We call them the screamers.

Sirens hum or sing enticing melodies drawing humans to their deaths. Banshees wail and weep, warning that a family member is about to die. Shapeshifters can mimic the voices and appearances of humans or other creatures, making them the ultimate chameleons and most difficult to track. If you hear fairy music, you may be compelled to dance without rest and eventually meet your death.

Survival Tip: The expression "music soothes the savage beast" may apply in some situations. Monsters may be distracted, appalled or entranced by a human's singing voice, or perhaps the unexpectedness of music piped through an iPod or a cell phone ring tone. However, this technique meets with mixed results. Use at own risk.

Monday, September 5, 2011

Most-Wanted Monsters Monday - Leprechauns

The Leprechaun is a type of fairy in Irish folklore, known for busily making shoes and squirreling away his gold in a hidden pot at the end of the rainbow. Cute, right?

Unless you dig a little (or a lot) deeper. This green, bearded “short stuff” has a reputation for practical jokes that in some cases are more than just mischievous – they’re downright evil. At least in pop culture.

A great myth of Leprechaun legend is their ability to grant 3 wishes to any mortal who caught them. Full of blarney, the Leprechauns were of course, lying through their teeth to escape captivity. Many a Leprechaun has fallen off his drinking stool laughing at the trickery they've performed on hapless mortals. Indeed, the 'I'll grant you 3 wishes if you let me go' trick is the oldest in the books of most Fae, but humans never learn.

Unconvinced? Check out the serial killer fairy in the Leprechaun movies. (*shudder*) Them’s are some creepy fairies you don’t want to mess with, no matter how big the pot of gold.

Life saving tip: Leprechauns rank high on our Most-Wanted Monsters hit list – and not because we’re looking to get rich quick. They’re creepy little buggers. To avoid them, stay the heck away from the end of the rainbow.